The veil is a "choice"?

In a recent vote in France, the Burka, the Muslim veil, was banned in public places in an astonishing majority of 336-1. This is obviously a controversial matter and some worry and claim that this move is unconstitutional as many wear the veil "out of choice".

I take serious issue at the use of the word "choice" here, as if, presented with all the facts since birth, presented with every religious world view, every explanation for who we are, evolutionary theory, intelligent design, Allah, Jesus, Buddha, and the tooth fairy - as if, having being presented with ALL the facts and possible avenues of religious belief, these women have "chosen" Islam and subsequently the veil.

Yes, within the religious framework that they believe in, they have made a choice. But that's not a genuine choice by any means. Faith wasn't introduced to these women when they were critically-minded adults free to make their own choice. It was, rather, introduced to them as it was to the overwhelming majority of people who practise any faith, at a very young age - an age when you are still "Santa-elligible" (Stanhope).

Put simply, I doubt there is an equal number of atheists wandering around Paris wearing a niqab as there are Muslim women (perhaps if there were then we would have cause to reconsider the constitutionality of the recent vote). That's because, free of any religious influence or doctrine, almost without exception, NO man or women would choose to hide his or her face in public, perhaps with the exception of the late great Michael Jackson and that chick whose face was ripped off by a monkey last year.

So again, what "choice" has been made? At best, a choice made under the heavy influence of doctrine introduced when they had no choice. I've learnt Japanese to a decent level, so I can choose to speak Japanese if I want to. But that does not therefore imply that everyone in England is speaking English out of "choice". Nothing introduced to you at birth is.

And finally as to the constitutionality of this policy; you'll note earlier I (very deliberately) wrote "NO man or women would choose to hide his or her face in public". Men and women. If this were truly a matter of constitution, the French vote would have included a ruling over men wearing veils as well. But it didn't precisely because it is in reaction, not to a civil convention, but rather to a religious practice that, almost a priori, treats women differently.

If there were a belief that women ought to stay in doors (I'm sure some cult somewhere might believe that), having a vote on whether or not women should follow this law out of choice would simply be treating the symptoms and not the cause. The real issue here is the differentiation between men a women, which is, of course, unconstitutional.

As open-minded as I wish I could be, I just can't accept religious faith as an acceptable basis for creating one set of rules for men and another for women, even if those rules are out of "choice". I can accept biological reasons, but not faith-based reasoning (isn't that an oxymoron?) introduced from birth.

If the French wanted to be rid of the veil in a more agreeable fashion, they should ban the introduction of religion before the age of consent, which IS unconstitutional. Then, out of real choice, I'm sure you would see the number of veils being worn reduced to almost zero within a generation.

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These are my opinions: I'm open to discussion, just don't get all offended just because I criticise something that's precious to you. It's not precious to me. I'm not sure why. Blame God for making me an atheist.

Comedy Progress

The best of intentions


Having been gigging in Tokyo for around a year, I was struck by how few opportunities there were to perform in a city as large as The Big Toke. Not only that, but it seemed that the performance conditions were a little stifling; there was a heap of potential talent that couldn't move up as there were already enough regulars doing well, and so the newbies would perform 3 minutes time and time again without much potential to move upwards. That's not a criticism of the way things were run - it's just a logical necessity that, given the small number of comedy nights and the sheer number of acts, finding enough stage time to get them all progressing quickly just won't happen.


I personally felt a bit restricted, as my act just doesn't translate into a 3 minute "bit". My comedy "bits" (juvenile chuckle) meander and last a long time, and often reference back to a previous bit of material. But in 3 minutes, there's no "previous" to refer back to. You're on, you're off.


As such, I found myself wanting to get another gig going in Tokyo, just to spread the acts around, give people more time on stage, and thus help to end what, appeared to me, to be a kind of stagnating swamp of talent going to waste. I got chatting to a friend, and we both agreed that we wanted people to be on stage more often doing a bit longer, so we set about finding a venue, spurred on by an encouraging email from the organisers of the current comedy events which said "Feel free to go ahead and organise your own comedy nights." And verily, we did...


The Pink Cow

The search for a venue didn't take long. Scouring the gaijin papers and magazines for venues that seemed to frequently hold intriguing events, one name kept popping up again and again: The Pink Cow. It was holding photography nights, art nights, sketch classes, movie nights; everything except a comedy night. I sent Traci (the owner, one of the most creative, helpful, artistic and genuine people I've ever met, and a human answer to renewable energy - she never seems to stop) an email, and within two days there was an answer; a resounding, very positive "Yes, let's make this happen."

Given the horror stories we'd heard about not being able to find venues ("You'll be lucky if you find someone who's willing to rent out some gravel for you to perform on" someone almost said to me once), I was surprised that we got such a positive response, and so quickly. And on top of that, the venue was a real surprise - big, brimming with atmosphere - the kind of place that would get created if Hunter S. Thompson got together with Janis Joplin.... or something. The shape of the place is sometimes problematic in terms of line of sight for the stage, but nonetheless, it's a feel-good venue that's good for comedy.

Was it something I said?

I won't go into details here, because I'm nice, but sufficed to say, no sooner had we secured a venue and let everyone in the comedic community (which doesn't exist - a community requires at least more than ONE component) know about what we were doing, than we started getting bizarre trickles of feedback from performers currently on the scene. Established acts, who we expected would be thrilled at having a new opportunity to try out their stuff, told us they wouldn't perform at the show. Pressure was coming from somewhere higher up, persuading them not to perform at our show, and it was working.

We had meetings with the relevant people (the organisers of the other comedy nights who were exerting the pressure on other acts not to perform), who, after hearing our motives and goals, totally retracted their somewhat monopolistic attitude, only for us to have another meeting later on where this retraction was retracted, without any logical reason. It was confusing to say the least. But then finally, after we had one show under our belt, an email was sent out to, I have no doubt, every act currently performing on the circuit, and it was bad. By bad I mean it was a dirty play, but also in terms of a piece of writing it was terrible; self-contradictory to the point of hilarity, while also achieving a new low in below-the-belt, immature pettiness. I was extremely saddened, frustrated (I couldn't reply in kind as it was THEIR mailing list) and utterly disappointed.

I have delt with about 40-50 comedy promoters in the past. They have all been supportive of acts, but also of each other's venues, and of the idea of a comedy "scene" rather than some sort of ridiculous turf warfare. Any one of them over here in Tokyo would have created a fantastic comedy community by now, but instead the potential fate of any aspiring act in this massive, very massive city, is currently in the hands of spoilt children in adult costumes. It's genuinely heart-breaking to see something as great as comedy being reduced to territorial battles and name-calling. What first started out as a perfectly innocent idea between friends fast became an unnecessary chore as we tried to focus on getting the night organised while simultaneously handling the irrelevant nuisance created by people who just have no idea.

Bah... balls to them!

Well, despite the unwanted distraction of a couple of poo-pooers, the night went ahead, and we are now currently 3 shows in. Ticket sales have been good, and have actually gone up from the first show, which is a great thing. I've heard that the third show is always the indicator of how things are going, and if that is so, then our show has got some serious legs on it.

But most importantly, more than ticket sales which mean nothing (Dane Cook can fill stadiums, whereas Stewart Lee goes for intimate bar gigs), we've given more stage time to newer acts, giving them a chance to develop. Some acts who were originally taking notes on stage, are now getting on and performing longer than they did before and with no notes at all. That's thanks to having an extra opportunity to perform, at a decent venue, with a good crowd.

And if we made just one act better, then all of the stress and unnecessary bad-mouthing was worth it. So, as much as I'd like to pat myself on the back for sticking this through, it's the acts you have to give it up to, because without them, there's no show. There's no territory, no "big fish" in a "small pond", and there's certainly no town that's too small for the both of us. There're only two sides to this; the people behind the microphone and the audience.

Peace!

Tokyo Outlaw Podcast #2

Here's the podcast for 24th April, covering Muhammed's depiction on South Park, death by firing squad, and how adultery can apparently cause earthquakes... I know.

http://www.ourmedia.org/media/tokyo-outlaw-podcast-24th-april

My first podcast

In a desire to create new current-affairs material for my stand up gigs, I'm committing myself to creating new podcasts based on what's been going on in the news.

Here's the first one: Tokyo Outlaw Podcast - 18th April

Enjoy!

A quick trip to Kyoto

Getting there

First of all, if you can get the train, take it!! This may be an expensive option, but if you're travelling from Tokyo as I was, then it's a much better option. A bus from Tokyo to Kyoto's main station takes around 8 hours. Potentially pleasant if you go by day, if you go by night there's nothing to see, and depending on which company you use, you may end up stopping upwards of 4 or 5 times, which is totally unecessary given the length of the journey. Especially on an overnight bus where the point is that most of those travelling wish to get a bit of shut eye before arriving in "Asia's most beautiful city" (Lonely Planet). Being stopped, having announcements blurted out and the bright lights turned on every hour meant that we arrived at 6am in Kyoto rather tired and pretty sure that we'd seen more service stations than there were temples in Japan's old capital.

Arrival

Remember, Japan is more often than not very rigid about rules, times, and schedules. Our check in time was 4pm and so, arriving on the overnight bus at 6am as we did, we had nowhere to crash or rest until the afternoon. Given the the amount of sleep we'd had (or lack thereof), this meant we spent our first day rather bleary-eyed, relying on a continuous stream of coffee to keep us going. So always make sure your check-in time is compatable with your arrival, otherwise you may find yourself carting your luggage around in the cold!

Day 1
At around 8am, after having breakfast and staving off the cold in a nearby "World of Coffee", we eventually braved the still-chilly morning air and walked the 15 minutes from near our guesthouse to 銀閣寺・ginkakuji - The Silver Temple (500￥). Not surprisingly in a country that's given us a red light district that still retains the name of its original theatrical purpose, Kabukicho (a Kabuki theatre was intended for the area, and even before that, a duck sanctuary), the Silver Temple also follows this tradition: there's nothing silver about it, though due to a now ancient desire to put silver on it, the temple retains its name.

As is often the case with temples in Kyoto, the gardens surrounding the temple were almost a rival to the buildings in the temple compound themselves. There were exquisite rock gardens and lots of trees that would satisfy anyone's "I want to see a Japanese-style tree" wishes. The temple was also very beautiful, though rather plain and reserved in comparison to some of the other temples in Kyoto.

After that we got the bus to the far west part of town and ended up at 天龍寺・tenryuuji (600￥ for temple and garden grounds). This was a much larger complex than ginkakuji, including many apparently residential temple buildings leading up to the main drag. Again, the gardens stole the show, and offered a good view of the temple anyway which, from the inside, was really just a collection of rooms that you couldn't go into. Certainly viewed from a slightly elevated walk, and seen through swaying trees, the temple dons a serenity far better appreciated than when inside.

To bring in Christmas Day, we ended up at around 11pm at a yakitori restaurant (grilled bits and bobs on sticks). It only had a few locals in it and they greeted us so warmly. Quite a different reception from a few days earlier when I had tried to get myself and my brother into a similar local place in Tokyo and was given the "da-me" (NO!) sign by the owner. Strangely enough, we ended up finding out that the yakitori restaurant owner used to live in a flat about two houses down from me in London, and that we'd both been living there at the same time. Such a huge coincidence made the evening, for whatever reason, a little more Christmassy.

Day 2

We finally checked in the day before at around 5pm, and ended up going to bed pretty early. Waking up the next day, it was off to 金閣寺・kinkakuji (The Golden Temple - be careful with the pronunciation!). Unlike ginkakuji, this temple does actually live up to its name and is entirely covered in gold (although cheaper to enter, only 300￥). Arriving on a sunny afternoon, the whole temple was shining to the extent that it hurt to look at it. Sitting by the edge of the lake on stilts, the temple is at once grandiose but also extraordinarily peaceful and humble, which is befitting of the many contradictions you'll come to recognise throughout Japanse culture and daily life the longer you stay over here.

There is a hill nearby which you can climb called 大文字・daimonji (essentially just "large character"), which has a the kanji for "large" coating the surface of one side of the hill. From there you can get a relatively good view of Kyoto. Unfortunately we didn't have much time so we pressed on back into the centre of town.

We got the bus (very convenient and easy to use; a refreshing change from train-dependent Tokyo) and went into a more modern area just south of the Imperial Grounds. The Imperial Grounds are also worth a visit, hidden behind gargantuan walls and almost hidden away in the middle of a vast park. Again, rather hurriedly we sped on southwards and ended up in the International Manga Museum (500￥). This was a rather confusing place as the museum was housed in a very old building that used to be a highly renowned school. As such, half of the Manga Museum was dedicated to exhibitions relating to the school rather than manga, which was a little confusing and almost disappointing, but the whole place was so curiously warming and intriguing that it didn't really matter. I haven't yet been to a manga museum in Tokyo (is there one?... there must be), but I imagine it would be a bit better than the one in Kyoto, just because it didn't know whether to fully embrace its modern theme, or dwell on Kyoto's past. Still, it's well worth a visit if you have some time to kill while you're in the centre of the city as it's a very unique little place.

Eventually we ended up in Nishiki Market, a huge and somewhat labyrinthine indoor network of little streets intersecting each other, cram-packed with good souvenir potential, as well as larger department stores and your old favourites like HMV, and good old purikura parlours. When you emerge from Nishiki market, if you aim for the south side, you'll end up on a long, busy shopping street (Shijo-dori) with far more pricier fare - think "Kyoto's Oxford Street". It was quite a nice place to stroll along, and to see some of the richer Kyoto-ites doing their thing. Perhaps at Christmas time it was a little over-crowded, but it all added to the bustle without descending into Tokyo levels of sardine-like suffering.

If you follow the shopping street eastwards, eventually they will lead you over a river and into an area called Gion. While the west side of the river is very reminiscent of some of the more modern, trendy parts of Tokyo, Gion's architecture is straight out of any tourist's fantasy. One look at the buildings once you've snaked down a couple of back streets, and it's instantly recognisable as Japan. Wooden sliding doors, creaky beams, stone sculptures running alongside rivers lined with Japanese trees; this is the little area you secretly hoped all of Japan would be like before you stepped off the plane. Get there just after midday and you might just see a geisha or two stepping in and out of the (very expensive) restaurants, looking for a potential customer who might want to burn some money on traditional Japanese entertainment.

As nice as it was to walk around here (I could have done for hours) it was very pricey, and so we headed back to the west side of the river again, and back towards Nishiki market on Shijo-dori. Here we ate our Christmas dinner at an izakaya. It wasn't at all traditional (in the English sense), but then if you waste time looking for a "Traditional English Christmas dinner" when you're in Kyoto, you may as well not have come in the first place! So we ended up eating a seafood nabe (simmering soupy hot pot type dish) and some raw horse meat. Not a brussel sprout in sight!

Day 3

A bit tired from lots of walking and a bit of drinking, we woke up a bit late, made our way to the train station to go to Nara Deer Park. But with time pressing and money a little low, we changed our mind at the last minute and ended up back in central Kyoto. This was quite lucky as we then had more time to spend at 清水寺・kiyomizudera which was a great place to end the trip on.

Again, easy to get to and easy to find as long as you're armed with a bus map and a semi-decent sense of direction, Kiyomizudera is a beautiful and surprsingly large temple complex. Walking up a very gradual incline, you pass up and through a small village entirely comprised of tourist-oriented shops. These sell everything from the exquisitely beautiful to the outrageously tacky. There are often geisha walking around here too, although be careful; many of them aren't the real deal and are just there for show. Nevertheless, surrounded by the ornate temple buildings, one is almost tempted to ignore the fact that these "geisha" may be just a con for the tourists, as they are still an absolute wonder to look at.

To try and describe kiyomizudera is somewhat futile. If you're the kind of person that makes their mind up based on other people's blogs, then you'd probably rather vegetate in front of your computer a while longer instead of going to the temple to see it. And if you're someone who likes to make up their mind for themselves, well... you'll probably end up going anyway. So all I'll say is that it was calming, tranquil (even with the tourist buzz) and offered a great view of Kyoto from the wooden platform jutting out from the hillside, supported by old and sturdy wooden beams. If you go to one temple in Kyoto, I'd be tempted to say that that one is the one to go to; but who knows what other hidden treasures I may have missed? It certainly managed to generate an atmosphere, in spite of the crowds, that seemed befitting of its description as "Japan's most revered temple."

After that, we slowly wandered down the hillside past all the tourist shops (there's even a Studio Ghibli store on the way, where you can buy figurines from one of Japan's most famous anime creators, Miyazaki Hayao), we eventually ended up back in the centre of town. Kyoto is small enough for that to be a walkable distance (about 25 minutes), but it was extremely cold so we got the bus and ended up a few minutes later at a TGI Fridays. Not terribly Japanese, but with an overnight, sleepless journey ahead of us we figured it was best to stock up on fatty stodge for the next 9 hours. Once again, sprung by an odd coincidence, our waitress at TGIs had been in the yakitori restaurant two nights earlier and had overheard my conversation with the owner who had lived in London. We hadn't noticed her, but she remembered us. I hope it won't take a strange coincidence for me to find those places again.

Bus Back

And so we ended up at the bus station just outside the main train station, got on, and 8 hours later arrived sleep-deprived and stiff in Tokyo, again, having stopped 5 or 6 times. With some more money saved, it'll definitely be the train next time.